Yo Solo Quiero Saber Hoy

I have Los Fabulosos Cadillacs' version of "Should I Stay or Should I Go" stuck in my head. Again.

SO! The weekend!

Picked my mom up on Friday afternoon and went out to dinner. The honey stayed home since he had gotten off work early and had already eaten. We went to our favorite barbecue place - the one we went to last summer with Barbara and Jennifer. My mom and I split a rib platter, which was perfect since I was really after the coleslaw and a few ribs and she is working on eating like a diabetic so that her high blood sugar doesn't turn into diabetes. She is so proactive! Me, I would be alternately panicking and mainlining Snickers. Scary.

Then we decided to go to the shoe store. It was fun, but we tried on so many shoes that my feet didn't know anymore what was comfortable and what was hurty. It's hard, because even "comfort" shoes like Born, Clarks, and Sofft sometimes hurt my feet or my legs or my back. Even sneakers! Terrible.

So we crashed out on Friday night after picking up some doughnuts for the man.

On Saturday morning, I slept until 9:30 and my mom slept till 11:30! Unbelievable. But we toodled off on our adventure and stopped at the post office on the way out of town. I had a chance to hear about the Bacon dental floss from Ms. Other Lion while my mom was trying to mail a package. Needless to say, our already-disgruntled postal employee was NOT happy that she has a job that requires Saturday work, and took out her frustrations on all the "customers" in the post office.

By the time we got out of there, I was massively crabby after being ruded by the postal worker, and by the fact that drivers in the ghetto cannot seem to keep their mind on traffic. We were going to stop for food on our way out of town, but decided we could wait till we got to our destination.

We took a little minor highway that winds through the countryside, and it was a really pretty day. In one little town, we saw four cops in the space of the one block of town that the highway runs through! (Sorta like Belle Plaine etc.) So we learned how to use the cruise control on the RAV4. :)

When we reached our shopping destination, we looked for the pizza place first. I drove right past it, and we were having some trouble with that. So we decided to stop at a local chain. The hostess was completely clueless about how to manage seating, so she asked if we wanted the patio and then waved us off and told us to go anywhere we wanted. There was a nice view of the retention basin for the development - you know, where they make a square valley for excess rain? Didn't smell very good. And it was a little too hot for sitting on the patio. So we went inside just as a slew of locals came in, and we left our sets and our menus on the hostess stand and bailed. It was a little disappointing, because my tummy was starting to growl! And everyone better take cover when that happens!

So we doubled back and found the pizza place we were looking for. Boy, was it worth it! I haven't had pizza from there in about 13 years, and I didn't even know the chain was in Ohio. It was waaay yummy.

After lunch, we went to a pet store in the same strip mall. They had LOTS of birds, and there was even an open cage where one of the conures was sitting out on a ledge taking a nap. I tried to pick him up, but he didn't want naptime pets from some strange lady, so he made his feelings clear. Not an "I hate you!" bite, but a gentle little "leave me alone!" bite. My mom petted and held some sort of "hawk-headed" something that kept trying to de-gem her watch face. Amusing for onlookers, to be sure.

Then we went to a jewelry store that I have been wanting to see since we moved from Colorado. They have a really funny, personable website with a good section on diamond education. They were fantastic! They had so much great stuff, including Chatham gemstones and Pintura created diamonds. They had a ring I wanted where you could switch out the center "stone", which was really art glass that looked like drusy. We also tried on lots of other jewelry, including a baroque pearl bracelet and a mother-of-pearl looking pendant that I would have made into a bracelet. We found a near-exact replica of my honey's design for my engagement ring and wedding band, and there is a possibility that they can order me a CZ jewelry-store-display version so I can color in the side stones!!!!! I was obviously very excited. Plus, she listened to all the ideas the honey had for the design, and out of nowhere she goes, "Is he an engineer?" I almost fell over from shock. It was amazing!

Then we went to the department store that was having Clinique! Bonus! Time!!!!! so I could get my gift with purchase. My mom bought some mascara that's the same cry-proof, sweat-proof version that Jenny got me last summer. I got my Sweet Honey lipstick and some of the yellow moisturizing goop, like always. I am wearing the GWP makeup as I write this - it's cool!

We thought about going to the Outlet Mall, but decided to go straight home instead. We were exhausted.

The honey voted to stay home, and my mom and I decided to try again to use my shoe-store coupon. God must not want me to get new shoes, though, because I still could not find my discount card and my mom's nap kept us from getting there until less than an hour before close. I never want to be "those people" who come in at ten minutes till close and stay all night. So we bummed around instead and ended up at Kohl's, where I found approximately ten million four-dollar shirts for wearing under things to work! Then we went to the grocery store so my mom could find these crazy tea biscuits she likes. The foreign foods also had tikka masala sauce!!! and Pocky! (But only Men's Pocky.) Then we went to Wal-Mart (Wa-wahhhhh!) since bagels cost twice as much at the regular grocery store. By the time we got home, I was super-exhausted and my feet were killing me, and the honey was long-asleep.

Sunday my mom woke up before me, and she and the honey were preparing a diet Coke run when I got up. I scarfed half a doughnut and took the honey in the RAV4. It's not that I don't trust him to drive it, it's that I still want to drive it all the time. I sat in the car while he ran inside. I still wasn't over my Wal-Mart pain from the night before.

We were planning to go shoe shopping together and get lunch at our favorite Mexican place, but I was hit with a random bout of the queasy/dizzies. This further reinforced my idea that the universe does not want me to have new shoes. So instead we discussed whether the Orka Fund should buy us that new platform bed that I've been wanting. Especially since our ghetto canopy bed that I bought for $20 three years ago from a garage sale with the "platform" of 4x8 sheets of plywood was D.E.D. dead.

Once I had girded my nauseous stomach with ramen noodles, we were off. My mom beat the crap out of the furniture sales guy - I couldn't watch. Her Bad Cop is second to none. He offered the bed with the addition of a long dresser and mirror combo at normal retail price even though it would be the floor model, and said he couldn't reduce delivery costs since they contract out. And you KNOW that delivery is non-negotiable after the washer debacle!!! Then she asked about a Tempur-Pedic mattress. He said he couldn't do the deal he promised me back in March, but offered $500 off a lesser floor model, the DeluxeBed. It was comfy. I called the man to see if that was acceptable instead of a CelebrityBed, and he said it was. We left to go to the grocery store for her diabetic snack bars. Then we left the strip mall entirely, so he would see us go and know that we were serious about walking away. It was classic!

We decided to go to a few other mattress places to see if we could get a better deal or at least a comparison. On the way to KFC for a shared grilled chicken lunch, we got a call from the guy. $50 off the furniture set and HALF PRICE on the CelebrityBed. Plus free delivery, a free mattress cover, and a free Tempur-Pedic normal-looking pillow (not the neck pillow)! It was ridonkulous. I was amazed at her bargaining power.

We high-fived in the car and then drove home, exhausted but happy. We picked the man up and went out for Mexican. It was an awesome night.

I will post pictures for you TOMORROW NIGHT if all goes as planned - they are going to deliver and set up tomorrow afternoon! I am going to refuse delivery if the mattress is torn etc. as it is a floor model, and I will make them take it all back if the bed parts won't go up the stairs. But other than that, WE HAVE A NEW BEDROOM SET AND A MATTRESS THAT WON'T LET ME BE HURTY!!!! My aching back is so excited. And I used my new pee-low last night, and it is comfortable.

My Mu is on her way back home right now, and has a nonstop flight back. I am so grateful to her that she used some of her inheritance money to make sure I can sleep comfortably. It was very generous and sweet.

So, in short: the best weekend ever!, nausea notwithstanding.

Accounting Question

Awright, accountants, answer me this:

If I were to get, say, a premium mattress, do I need a prescription to deduct it as unreimbursed medical expenses?

Don't Jinx It!

I was going to write a whole big post about the health care system and how my insurance company is utterly screwing me over right now, but I am afraid it will jinx me and medical evils will befall me. Plus, who wants to raise their blood pressure before work?!?! So instead I'm watching Anthony Bourdain in Indonesia and fittin' to eat a bagel and writing this post for you.

This gon' be one insane weekend - my mommy is coming and we are planning a mini-trip to a nearby town.

Op! Bagel's done! Bye!

Doing What You Love

Sounds like everyone's favorite Minivan Mom - and can we really call her that since the whole point is that she's MORE Than A Minivan Mom? - is having some good days. She's over there talking about how she's insanely busy and overwhelmed, but much happier because she's doing things she loves and believes in.

I have almost finished paying off all our old debts (knock on wood) and whenever I have enough money now, I go out shopping. SCARY! But the difference now is that I don't have to buy anything. I'm nourished (ha - goop!) just knowing that I could buy something if I wanted to - but I don't want to buy anything! Just look at the pretties.

And the other night I went to Jo-Ann (sorry Laura - only saw plain marigold ribbon and it was all floppy) to get some fake grass and decided to also get some little bits. I got a yard of muslin and two skeins of embroidery thread. I took my dried lavender and made little muslin pillows, and then have been working on sewing a pretty border with the embroidery thread. They look pretty ugly so far (and not in a jolie-laide kind of way), but they're a fun way to spend some time while the netbook's charging and I don't feel like making art. They're not ready to be sold at Macy's or anything, but they're cute and they make me happy.

So the whole moral of this post is that depressives all over the country are discovering that when you find things that you love to do, then you have an easier time being happy! It's a strange, wonderful feeling.

Just Like A Tuesday

The honey is home sick, I've been doing other people's jobs for them this morning (calling the dentist about my stupidly-denied claim for sealants for which I should never have had to file a claim in the first place), and things were just generally not going super-hot. Then I read this, and it made me smile.

Bob Dylan is in talks with some car companies about being the voice of their GPS systems. He joked that it would probably sound like: "Left at the next street. No, right. You know what? Just go straight." Then he said: "I probably shouldn't do it because whichever way I go, I always end up at one place - on Lonely Avenue." [Mirror]

I just ate a chicken/broccoli/alfredo Smart Ones, and although it has made my tummy feel a little iffy, it improved my mood. I have a new car! Yeah, our washer crapped out on Friday and we immediately had to spend a bunch of money on a new one, but at least we had a way to get it home....

Although I have issued this bull: we are never installing something ourselves again if we can get someone else to deliver it. Have you ever tried taking a washing machine down some "basement stairs" which are really just treads with no risers? With someone who has pretty much no concept of physics and never moves heavy things? None of our dood friends were around and we weren't about to call any of them, so I tried to help the honey lower the new washer gently into the basement. It was scary and I'm afraid my main ability to help relied on my littleness so that I could crawl between the wedged washer and the stair "rail" to go upstairs and snag his cigarettes. He is now pleased with the washer, but I will never ever trust it. But it was cheap.

So all in all, this has been an up-down past few weeks. The man is home instead of working far away, and he found a four-leaved clover while he was gone. "Four-leafed?" We have a new car and our budget is solid. But my tummy hurts and his tummy is bad and we have a giant white metal paperweight in our basement. More good than bad, for sure, and everything will be perfect once my tummy settles down again. Maybe I need some chocolate? :)

Okay....

...no more suspense! I got a car! It's a RAV4 AWD with a V6, and I got it for the price of a four-cylinder! It doesn't have a name yet, and I probably will try not to name it to hopefully avoid any sort of personality conflicts.
I will write more about the whole buying experience once I have recovered from my exhaustion regarding the subject, and once we get through this weekend. But here it is in situ.

Here is the agenda I ordered with more of my store credit. So now we've bought from the retail store, from the outlet, and from the web. I am going to keep coupons in this. I have tons of coupons for Quizno's, Dick Blick, etc. that I never use because I never have them with me. Or else they're floating around in my purse and I get all pissed.
We are having a wonderful life, except the honey informs me that the washer crapped out today. We have probably had it seven years today exactly; we got it with our apartment here and it's lasted all that time! So I guess it's not evil for having crapped out; I just wanted it to wait till we could get rid of it when we redo the house. That way we wouldn't have to buy one that would fit down in the basement; we could've bought the one we actually wanted and put it upstairs. But! If that's the worst thing that happens to us this year, it has still been a fantastic year.

Da Skillz

Man, do I love me some Britney. Truthfully, I love anyone who can poke fun at themselves. Hence, this post cribbed from D Listed:

Cheetokini Watch: Brit Brit On Letterman

Because August is the month Brit Brit only wears a two-piece, it wasn't a surprise that she wore one while doing the Top 10 on Letterman last night. It's a good thing too, because if Brit Brit puts actual clothes on, Summer will suddenly end. Or is it, if she covered her crescent rolls Summer would never end, because it would be safe for the sun to fully come out shining? Herm.

Anyway, Animatronic Brit read "The Top 10 Ways the World Would Be Different If Britney Spears Were President." And they are:


10. I'd be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo
8. Free pie for everybody
7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Vegas
6. I'd lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance "Circus Fantasy"
5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by end of decade
2. Three words: Vice President Diddy
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me.

I Still Don't Have Nothin' To Say

Especially about this stupid-ass car-buying experience.

So here you go! Two more women saying things that make me love them.

"There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Express]

"Yes, I was a stripper — let the judgments ensue. I'm not ashamed. What difference does it make if I danced or not? Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth? My son was in private school, his father wasn't chipping in for pull-ups or food, I had no job and no money coming in, the rent was past due, and the super told me and my roommate that our condo owner was about to put us out. It was about survival." — Nene, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. [Gatecrasher]

HAAAA ha ha ha ha!

Most U.S. Money Laced With Cocaine

LiveScience.com livescience Staff

livescience.com – 1 hr 7 mins ago

Traces of cocaine taint up to 90 percent of paper money in the United States, a new study finds.

A group of scientists tested banknotes from more than 30 cities in five countries, including the United States, Canada, Brazil, China, and Japan, and found "alarming" evidence of cocaine use in many areas.

U.S. and Canadian currency had the highest levels, with an average contamination rate of between 85 and 90 percent, while Chinese and Japanese currency had the lowest, between 12 and 20 percent contamination.

The findings were presented yesterday at the 238th National Meeting of the American Chemical Society in Washington, D.C.

Study leader Yuegang Zuo of the University of Massachusetts in Dartmouth said that the high percentage of contaminated U.S. currency observed in the current study represents nearly a 20 percent jump in comparison to a similar study he conducted two years ago.

"To my surprise, we're finding more and more cocaine in banknotes," Zuo said.

Scientists have known for years that paper money can become contaminated with cocaine during drug deals and directly through drug use, such as snorting cocaine through rolled bills. Contamination can also spread to banknotes not involved in the illicit drug culture, because bills are processed in banks' currency-counting machines.

"I'm not sure why we've seen this apparent increase, but it could be related to the economic downturn, with stressed people turning to cocaine," Zuo said.

Such studies are useful, he noted, because the data can help law enforcement agencies and forensic specialists identify patterns of drug use in a community.

Previous studies that have reported on cocaine traces on money have had several drawbacks, Zuo said. Some only sampled a small number of bills, while others destroyed the money in the process of testing.

Zuo and his colleagues used a modified instrument that allowed for faster, simpler and more accurate measurement of cocaine contamination than other methods, without destroying the currency.

The amounts of cocaine found on U.S. bills ranged from .006 micrograms (several thousands of times smaller than a single grain of sand) to more than 1,240 micrograms of cocaine per banknote (about 50 grains of sand).

The scientists found that larger cities like Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit had among the highest average cocaine levels. Washington, D.C., ranked above the average, with 95 percent of the banknotes sampled contaminated with the drug. The lowest average cocaine levels in U.S. currency appeared on bills collected from Salt Lake City.

Despite the high percentage of cocaine-contaminated banknotes, Zuo points out that the amount of cocaine found on most notes was so small that consumers should not have any health or legal concerns about handling paper money.

"For the most part, you can't get high by sniffing a regular banknote, unless it was used directly in drug uptake or during a drug exchange," Zuo said. "It also won't affect your health and is unlikely to interfere with blood and urine tests used for drug detection.

Also, PS:

Seven years ago today we arrived in Ohio with all our crap in a 15-foot moving truck with the honey's car strapped to the back.

Instead of "Lonely Weekend" it should be "Insane Weekend"

"Since Frii-deee/I's as insane as I can be/Whoa-yeah that insane weekend..."

So here is what we're TRYING to get to replace Big Bob. I am waiting for one dealership to get it from another dealership who owes them a car. Gah.

After we d*cked around at the dealership for several hours, we went to visit our friends E and A at their house. Their kitchen cabinets are in, siding is up everywhere but the back, and A has been painting. I volunteered to help because you know how I LOVE to paint! They were laughing at me. But here is what E's office is going to be:

And I think that this is relatively close to their upstairs bathroom paint color. I didn't know the name, but in the jar it was the color of a tide pool in the mid-to-Maine Atlantic just before or after a rain. A gorgeous grey-blue with lots more gray than blue.

On Sunday we took my dad's car back to him, and hit the OUTLET MALL!!! on the way home. PS: When you read those words in caps, you have to think of it the way the radio announcer says "GROUNDHOG DAY!!!" in that movie. I found TONS of things on which to use my store credit. And below are some of the things I considered/bought.

This is the black leather Zoe I bought for me. Except she has silver-tone hardware. Loves!


This is what I bought for my friend Jaime. I am hoping she likes it!


This was the other purse I debated about buying for Jaime. She's been too busy with a client to come on the promised shopping spree, so I tried to find something I thought she would like. I am telling you, shopping with store credit is so awesome. I know that I already paid for it, kinda, but not having to think about how much it costs as long as it's below your gift card is totally amazing. ANYhoos, not the wallet, but the purse is what I considered for J.


Since the man loved E and A's new house so much, we talked about what we want to do with our house. I went to IKEA to show him what I was thinking for closet organizers, and this is the screen that greeted me.

I was like, "BWAH ha ha ha!" How are they going to beat their prices?!?! $15 instead of $20 for a rug that costs $100 at Target?!?!??!

Then I was like, "Ooh!"

And then I was like, "OOH!" There are no words to describe how much I love IKEA.

We also went to the aforemention red-store-of-my-love on Sunday, and boy, did I want everything there too! Demilune entry table! School supplies! Bookcases! Makeup! O, Lawd, do I love me that store!

I also got my first issue of Lucky on Friday, and it was full of gorj. Here are some things you can buy me if you happen to have lots of spare money.

kabiri.co.uk bracelet by Jessica De Lotz. Looks amazing, doesn't it?!?!
HSN platform wedges would go great with all my long jeans.

More Quotes from Jez

So don't think I'm a dork, but there are only a few concerts that I really have a desire to go to, and Aerosmith is one of them. It's kind of ridiculous how I love Aerosmith - I bought Trash in the Attic in about 1994, around the same time I was into Get A Grip. Come to think of it, Get A Grip came out when I was in eighth grade. I was a thirteen-year-old Aerosmith fan: I think we can all agree that I'm pretty hardcore for a chick from Iowa. So I was kinda sad when I heard this (not like I even had tickets or anything):

Aerosmith has canceled its summer tour "with great regret" after frontman Steven Tyler fell from the stage. Quoth he: "I just want to say that I'm plain grateful that I didn't break my neck. In truth, after thousands of live shows, falling off the edge four times ain't too bad." [AP]

This, for some reason, gave me goosebumps. Can you imagine owning an antique secretary from one half of Merchant/Ivory? Whoooo.

Christie's will conduct a London auction of art and furniture belonging to the late Indian-born film producer Ismail Merchant in October. Merchant, along with James Ivory, made over 40 films including A Room With a View, Howards End and The Remains of the Day. [Reuters]

This makes me think that K.Stew has a pretty good head on her shoulders. In fact, the things she says about Taylor Lautner make me think that she and I would've gotten along pretty well as middle-schoolers etc. She sounds like my kind of girl.

"It would've been smart to take some time off too, but I'm really glad I did Runaways. If it was Twilight all the time, I would go mad. To just play one character for four years, it's not what I do. I like to have variation. I like to change it up. To live one experience, it would be like I have this weird alter-ego, alternate life, instead of slipping into a character for 6 weeks, sucking it dry, and leaving. It would be like 4 years of living like a fucking psycho person, thinking that I'm like Bella. You know what I mean? It would just be impossible for me. The tabloids would have a lot of crazy shit to say about me in that case." — Kristen Stewart. [EW]

The local radio station has been playing LOTS of Pearl Jam lately - I heard "Jeremy" last night on my way home from work and again this morning when I turned on the car. So this made me want to bring Eddie Vedder a Pepsi and some crackers with cheese to his laundry room. (Emphasis on my favorite part is mine.)

"[I wasn't] one of the industry kids who they groom on the fucking Disney channel and who do what they are told. [Being a star was like] being strapped to a rocket ship. But some of us weren't built for speed. I was almost overwhelmed by it all. I had this house — not a giant house, but three or four nice rooms, and a jukebox. And it had this laundry room, and I would sit in there with an ashtray that I trusted. It was like the world couldn't get me in the laundry room." — Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder. [Guardian]

More Steven Tyler PJs (where does that come from? I can't even remember my own pop culture references now. OH! It's from Encino Man or Son-In-Law, one of those nuts.)

"I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged ... and I slipped, and as I live on the edge ... I fell off the edge!" — Steven Tyler, on his accident that left him with a broken left shoulder and 20 stitches on the back of his head. [People]

This makes me slightly less angry that a former cokehead got a new kidney when non-famous people who haven't abused theirs are still on the list.

"It's remarkable what a new kidney does to your life. I have no complaints…I'm pretty amazed. I have been working on my stamina." — Natalie Cole, who would love to meet her donor, saying, "I would probably kiss them all over the place." [People]

And this just increases my platonic crush on Jon Hamm:

"I get a lot of e-mails and photos of people that are dressing like [Don Draper]. That was pretty strange. People will say to me, ‘Oh, I just saw you in a mall.' I guess it's pretty easy. Slick your hair back, put a nice suit on, and you're ready to go." — Jon Hamm. [WWD]

Proof Positive that I'm All Emotional

Got kinda teary when I read this - I thought it was nice! Well, I got teary at what Bana said, and then I laughed on the inside at what McAdams said. Keep in mind, people, that I have never seen The Notebook or read either novel. I don't think I've ever seen a movie with Rachel McAdams in it, even.

"I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]

"What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]

I also loved this. Big Mac for the win, baby!

"I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

Still queasy and haven't been able to have breakfast. But spicy Chinese food or a Big Mac sounds pretty wonderful. I used to eat french fries or cheese balls (fried cheddar nuggets) to get over hangovers. I'm kinda like a dog eating grass - do I want horrible, spicy, stomach-hurting food because it's strangely soothing, or do I want it so that I will hork and get it over with? (Sorry for that. Probably all this is too much info, right?)

Don't Worry, I'm Not Suddenly Twelve

i m so freakin frustrated w this car-buying experience. i feel like dealers r jerkin me around, n doin the bait n switch. so much info out there but i don't know how to properly take them down with it. do i threaten? do i just give up?

n bob is doin it again to me! he was fine for a. last nite, but then misbehaved when i moved him. i m scared to drive him in case he dies completely n then the dealers smell a rotten fish!

fortunately i got to cuddle a baby last night. a.'s son is so nom-able - when i first saw him again i wanted to nom his hands! but last nite he nommed my hands. and a. and e. have been wonderful thru this whole thing - a. has been driving me all over, and e. called last nite while their baby was in the backseat of my test-drive n was like, "you're not buying that kia, r u?" i'm like, "not toNITE..." i really liked it, y'all.

add to all this the fact that i have been feeling sucky in the mornings all wk. i m wondring if nite is a better time to eat my activia? right now am shiverin but not sure if it's from car-buying frustration or queasiness or both. come to think of it, the queasiness could be a symptom of the same car-buying disease. somebody come do this for me so i don't have to try to balance between Nice Jennie and Total Bitch Jennie!

as for the format of this post, chalk it up to the fact that i have been communicating wholly thru txts all this week with pretty much everyone.

Man Crush

Stay with me, here, this one's gonna get labyrinthine.

We need to have a word for when you admire, respect, and like someone of the opposite gender but don't have a real "crush" on them. You know, like "girl crush" for girls and "man crush" for guys. I think we all, for instance, have a girl crush on Sarah Haskins. And for a while the honey had a man crush on Bill Ford. (He's mad at him now for designing inferior vehicles, but he really liked that Bill didn't pay himself except in stock for a little while.)

But what do you call it when I think Jon Hamm or Mike Rowe or Joe Rogan are cool and entertaining, but I don't want to jump on their proverbial bones? Like the lead singer for Cake. Cool voice, funny songs, love the oeuvre, but kissing him would be like kissing a catfish, even if I didn't already have my most favoritest dude in the world. Do you call it a "man crush" even though it's not a handshake between dudes?

Here is why I bring this up: I read a teeny bit of the AV Club interview with Jon Hamm, and I fell in love with him a little bit when I read this (emphasis mine):

AVC: When Mad Men was picked up by AMC for a third season, Matt Weiner didn’t get his own deal right away. Were you ever concerned about the deal not getting made, and what that would mean for the show?

JH: Not in any real way. I think that everybody had their best negotiating face on, and was doing what people do in Hollywood and elsewhere when they negotiate, which is talk big and belittle the other side, and all that other shit. And, you know, it served its purpose. It was effective in that Matt got what he wanted, and I think that Lionsgate and AMC got what they wanted. I think at the end of the day, Lionsgate and AMC both realized that they didn’t want to do that to this show. To bring somebody else in to run this show, especially so early in its run, would have been not just bad for the show—cataclysmic for the show, really—but it would been bad for their brand.

This is what I got her

And it's even cuter in person. I figured she could use it once she is running everywhere with a small person and doesn't want/need to carry a full-sized purse.

Ha!

My girl Jenny has given me permission to tell you that she's pregnant! She is due on Labor Day. And if you e-mail me, I will tell you which gender she is expecting.

She says she was about 33 weeks in this picture. Hilarious! I am unbelievably excited for her. She loves her present from Coach, and says she'll use it at the hospital to have her honey go get her food from the vending machine! Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll go snag a pic and report back. (On the Coach thing, I mean, not the delivery room.)

She says she has learned to balance LOTS of things on her belly. I want to go out there sometime soon after the small person comes to meet him/her. Vacation in the Midwest!!!!! I'm sure the honey will want to buy special ear plugs that drown out the sound of five squealing women.

Seeds of Bliss from the Fallen Fruits of Sorrow

So here's what happened this weekend, in a nutshell: Big Bob died and left us stranded on the side of the highway for three hours. He has a little problem sometimes, and by the time we get him towed to the mechanic, he's all better! He obviously loves our mechanic more than he loves me. He starts for him every time!

It sounded like a transmission issue, or possibly a fuel pump issue. But now it's no issue at all. But in the meantime I started researching foreign SUVs to trade. I test-drove a Sportage last night, and since I am a lucky girl they only had a fully-loaded one left, which they agreed to sell to me for the price of the rock-stock. But since this is my fourth go-round on dealership-purchase wagon, I waited. When I got home, the guy who'd sold us the Yaris called and was like, "You didn't buy a Kia, did you?" I e-mailed him my comparison chart, which is brilliant, and he is going to call me tomorrow when he gets back to work. Tonight I'm supposed to test drive a Santa Fe up by where Big Bob is staying for the moment. I gotta figure out how to try to get up there, get Big Bob, and drive two cars like the horseback rider at the circus. And since my credit has JUMPED! back up to where it was before we bought the house, I can be assured of much fawning and drooling. I get the best interest rates in town. And since I have done all my research, I know how much I want to pay per month, what my trade-in is worth, whether I qualify for CARS, how much I want to pay total, and how long I want to carry the note. I can also do all this while being all but guaranteed that I can get lending through the people who brought us the Yaris and Big Bob. So bring on the deals, kids!

Soothing

I don't even want to talk about this weekend. So, instead, here is an old picture from my cell phone so you can see the dog cuddling the honey.

What We Bought

I went with A to the mall last night to use my "Store credit! Store credit!". Her baby is four months old now, compared to four weeks the last time I saw him! He is sitting up in people's arms, and still belching louder than ever at random intervals. And his hair is softer than puppy ears. I want to nom his hands.

But anyway! The mall! My favorite Coach person was there, and he was wonderful. We had a really great time and were the only customers in the store for a while, so we got the full benefit of all the employees. I didn't really want anything specific, so I had a hard time shopping for myself. First, we looked for stuff for A. There was a diaper bag she wanted, but it didn't come in the right color/pattern combo for her. Then we wandered to and fro trying to find regular bags that could hold BSE (Baby Support Equipment). After we figured out what she wanted to get, I wanted to use my portion to get something for my girl Jenny. Which I did, and I'm not gonna show you in case Jen is reading this and the surprise is ruined.

I looked at this wallet, and really liked it. In fact, I may go back and get it. The inside is a gorgeous ruby color and has lots of slots. Although I really don't need lots of slots now that I don't have lots of credit cards...... See?!? This is the problem I was having - there's nothing that I really have to have.

This is a bag that A looked at. She carried it around for a while, and it was so cute on her! It's the perfect mix of classy and funky.

This is what she ended up getting. She said it was more comfortable, and it seemed a little more flexible as far as uses and ease of care.

This is what I ended up getting. It's a baby Sabrina, and it's soooo cute. But I always feel like then I need a new wallet, schma schma schma. I may take it back. I may try the outlet. But it was the last grey baby Sabrina, so I snagged it so it wouldn't be gone like all the others I've loved and passed up in the past.

I also tried on some rings, but you know I can't really get down with heart-shaped things or Coach just for Coach's sake. A also got a cute scarf to tie onto her bag. It looks fantastic.

It was really fun to have girl time. I got to be friends with A 'cause her hubby's friends with the honey, and it's really nice to get to connect on our own terms and grow a true friendship out of a friendship by proxy. I am lucky to have lots of friends in faraway places that still feel close, and to have a couple friends around here that I can call.

Moral Punishment in Early 20th Century Culture

Is the cancer in Rebecca a deus ex machina, or is it Rebecca’s punishment for being evil?

I argue that it is a deus ex machina. I, of course, am not privy to Daphne DuMaurier’s private thoughts, but I have often found that my own art is given meanings which I did not intend. I understand that the psychology of the time demanded things like (spoiler alert!) Cary Grant not being a cold-blooded wife-murderer. The culture in which DuMaurier wrote, and the culture about which she wrote in Rebecca, would have necessitated that Rebecca do something to (spoiler alert again!) make Maxim kill her. But since the main focus of the story is on the narrator and her relationship with Maxim, it reads more to me like a fish-out-of-water idea that needed to be carried forward.

The second Mrs. DeWinter weaves a lovely tale of all the magic of Manderley, and tells of her struggles to fit in there. It is not only because of Rebecca that she feels out of place; Rebecca serves also as a foil to the narrator’s feelings of naïveté and inadequacy. She is a simple girl (not the stupid kind of “simple”, you understand) thrust into a role that requires at least some sophistication. And while the story is undeniably about the punishment of Rebecca and the promotion of the second Mrs. DeWinter to the true wife of Maxim, it is also about the narrator’s perspective on the different lives of the rich and poor. And the different lives before and after (it’s coming again, watch out!) Mrs. Danvers burns down Manderley.

Also, I believe that Rebecca’s fictitious cancer is a clear case of correlation not necessarily implying causation. As a promiscuous woman, she was subject to a wide variance of cancer-causing STIs. She thought herself to be pregnant, and her baby-weapon intended for use against Maxim becomes the poison orb inside her. Of course, she still uses it against him, and eventually drives him from his ancestral home. To say, though, that she had reproductive malignancy simply as a reflection of the era’s mores ignores the fact that STIs would be a very real threat to her health. She was evil and she got cancer; it isn’t necessarily true that she got cancer because she was evil. (Although I do think that's true, for the purposes of the story.)

Now, Psycho shows a clear punishment for wrongdoing. Janet Leigh’s character (whatever her name is – that one was never my favorite) is haunted by her crime during her escape, and is ultimately punished for her bad behavior by Norman Bates. (Again, spoiler alert!) She steals money, and it gnaws at her as she tries to drive to a new life, and then she is stabbed and her car left swamped, to be discovered by police. She is not only slaughtered, her whole existence on the planet is buried in the mud. She disappears.

As a whole, the similar group of Hitchcock movies such as Rebecca, Vertigo, and Psycho seem to treat women roughly and relish giving them their “just deserts”. Rebecca punishes the evil slut, Vertigo punishes the woman who lies to the protagonist, and Psycho punishes the thief. It all happens in relatively grisly fashion, even if off-camera. But the virtuous wife in Suspicion would have been punished for no reason, had Hitchcock had his way. She did not lie, steal, or cheat. So although there is ample evidence of misogyny during the time and in these stories, that does not mean that it is the only plot point.

I wouldn’t call Rebecca’s cancer a “McGuffin” – the phrase implies a clumsier insertion into the story to me, as well as a physical object of some sort. But I do think that it is much more about moving the story of Maxim’s wives forward than it is about a harlot queen being penalized.

And I am such a nerd for Rebecca that I was able to write this whole short essay without researching my points in any way.

Aha ha ha la la la

All the things I am getting with my free coupons for Michigan Bulb and Breck's:


Tete-a-tete daffodils from Breck's.


Annabelle hydrangea for the east and north garden by the front porch.

Creeping phlox for the south garden along the road, to act as a groundcover underneath everything.

Including this rainbow butterfly bush, which I will put outside the fence along the back porch (where the trumpet vine and pine trees are now).

Liriope for the back garden underneath the pine tree. Apparently ferns are poisonous to dogs, so they are out as a planting. Liriope are supposed to be able to stand up to dog trampline, which will be good as I'm putting them in a place where Radar is constantly trying to take down the squirrel!


And Beacon silver lamium for under the pine tree too. Should be bright! It's so iffy to get shade plants for back there, because the black-eyed Susans and the white daisies that Barbara gave me are doing well back there, and the hostas that I moved from the front have a 50% survival rate. It must be sunnier under the pine tree than we imagine.

So I am very pleased with all the stuff I am getting. I love the koopins!

Things That I Want That I Am Not Buying

In addition to all that ModCloth stuff, of course.

a) a fake diamond band so I can color in the side stones with marker to see how I like a design.

b) diet Coke syrup to make the SodaStream thing make real diet Coke so the honey will use it.

c) black high-heeled slingback sandals to replace my old ones.

I just wanted you all to know how virtuous I am being. (God, that sentence was wrong!) I am really trying to be good so that our new financial life will not be marred by the strife that occurred in our old fiscal life. But it is so hard to be good! I feel like I'm still being chased by our poverty, and whenever the budget is tight (which it's supposed to be - not supposed to be extra in the bill pay fund!) I think about what I could sell to get more money. I'm going to end up like a certain dark-haired literary character, clutching all material things to my buzzoom so I will never feel desperate again. But I will probably always feel a little nervous, just because we lived so close to the edge for so long. And that's probably how it should be, because if I get too comfortable I will start getting lazy and sloppy again. One wonders how ancient I will become before I am fully cured of my constant desire to nest.

On a totally different subject, my darling John F. Kennedy hybrid tea rose has developed some new shoots that are bright red. I have come to realize that, in the non-wild rose world, this means he is growing! So now that I have grudgingly accepted the fact that I will have to spray for Japanese beetles, maybe I can stay ahead of them and have more perfect, beautiful roses to show for it. We shall see - my laziness knows no bounds.

The Ten Million Things I Want From ModCloth

E and I had a virtual girl-party the other night, looking at all the pretties and gushing via e-mail. Thought you might like to see some of the cute things too.