Thursday, August 30, 2007
Name the show that begins with the following song.
"While Kathy adores a minuet/
The Ballet Russe/
And crepes Suzette/
Patty's only seen the sights/
A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights/
What a wild duet!"
If you know what that's from, you're old. Or, like me, you obsessively watched Nick at Nite as a kid. I loved Mr. Ed, The Donna Reed Show, My Three Sons, and of course Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. Those two were on TBS in the mornings before school, along with The Beverly Hillbillies. God I loved that old stuff.
I also remember watching lots of Looney Tunes, which came on Nick at six p.m. There was a commercial for it that had a classical song with words. All I remember was "something-something self destruction/LOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE TUUUUUUNES!/on nick at nite. (With an opera tenor singing it.) Do you remember that?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
And "Alice" is so much like me emotionally that I was surprised to hear that she was moving to Tulum. She is very grounded and loves Home, and it's cute to think of her moving her margarita management skills to the beach.
But I would love to go with both of these girls on any adventure that they (or I) chose. I am so lucky to have so many good friends scattered all over - we can spend one night in Tulum, girls, and then take the E-bear to the Gran Melia Cancun so she can enjoy a marble bath with chrome fixtures and hot water till she turns all pruney. Do you think Katherine would join us if we also made a stop off at the resort where there's a swim-up bar and lounge chairs in the pool?
This is all making me want a massive girl's trip with all my girl friends. The MegaMillions is up to $325 million - how long do you think we could live in warm, sunny spots on, say, $20 million? Betcha it'd be a long time.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
1. How many times is it acceptable to make your server go back and forth to the kitchen for you in a row?
a. As many as I need to get everything I want.
b. None - figure out what you want and tell the server up front.
c. Two times. And I tip accordingly.
d. Why are you asking me this?
If you said A, you are a runner. Stop making me your Supply Whore!
If you said B, you are a veteran restaurant worker. And a crisply organized person. (Virgo?)
If you said C, you have worked in a restaurant before, but don't always think of everything all at once. As long as you tip well, you're okay.
If you said D, there's no way you could understand the connection between being a runner and being any other kind of employee who makes the secretary make twenty different supply orders for you in a month.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
We went to the mall to meet with her, and then went shopping afterward. I saw some nice things, but there was nothing I even wanted to buy! Making progress.
The honey can't do the roof this week - his boss couldn't approve his vacation. Sux.
So that is how things are going here!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Also, there may be a chance that I am shooting a wedding out of state the weekend after Labor Day. Also known as the Honey's Birthday Weekend. One of my brides from the photography business had her photographer cancel at the last minute. I don't know how this will work out. Hopefully they will be so impressed and get so much money at the reception that they will shower me with cash. They are paying for gas, hotel, and food for sure. But to actually earn money for driving two hours each way would be nice. That's the whole reason I didn't want to do it in the first place - unbelievably lazy. But who could let a couple not have professional pictures on their wedding day!?!?!?!
I am okay - repeat - I am okay. Scared and frustrated. Want to leave. Feeling like Titanic's captain. But if it starts to look grim, you will see me on the evening news standing outside talking about how "it was pandelirium" like a true hillbilly.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The MegaMillions is $201,000,000 today. Like Miss Wonderland and her Dear Love, we discuss random things in great detail for hours on end, and we have of course discussed this. The MegaMillions billboard is readable as you turn onto the highway closest to our house.
I am ashamed to admit that I didn't think of tithing. Fortunately, the Honey is a PK and is my "Angel of the Hearth" in this case. (Remember that stupid thing from Survey?)
Here's what he would do. I totally agree.
1. Take the one-time payment. This would bring it to around $100,000,000.
2. Tithing would be $10,000,000, taking us to $90,000,000.
3. Taxes would take it to $40,000,000.
4. Every family member and close friend (in my case) gets an average of $1,000,000. That would use up $11,000,000, leaving us with $29,000,000.
5. Buy a yacht and sail among the warm spots. Buy a home base somewhere. Chicago? Ohio? Who knows?
6. Start a nonprofit that does two things. It would work like a halfway house, where people in recovery or on probation would have a place to live. They would work fixing up houses in depressed areas of the city, learning carpentry etc. and helping bring the neighborhoods' abadoned homes back to saleability. So they would have a place to live, and they would be learning a trade, and they would be helping better the bad neighborhoods. Sounds pretty smart, huh? (Disclaimer: I did not come up with that plan.)
And there you have it. Do the same things we do right now, just don't worry about bills needing to be paid. I didn't put "pay off bills" in there 'cause I don't want to express our debt as a number, but that would be something we would do right away.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
On my way home from work - stopped at a red light by the DMV complex. All kinds of cars are plopping out of the chute, most of them shiny with personalized plates (funny!). Most of the state employees in these cars were talking on cell phones and whipping around the curve to claim their space in their homebound lane.
One guy, who was in the outside lane, comes screaming out with his phone open, talking in it like a tricorder. Just before he does it, two guys in their early twenties go coasting down the hill right across him, riding a bicycle with one of them on the handlebars. If he had been one second earlier, he would have cut them off right at the knees going at least 25. (Crotchety-sounding much, Jen?)
This is how I know someone was looking after them: not only did they not get hit, there was a fire/rescue vehicle in the other lane, waiting at the light. I felt sick even imagining having to call 911 after seeing that accident, and it was amazing to know that the EMTs would've been right there if those guys had needed them. It started my brain, but what came next really convinced me.
The light turned green, and I started off. Next block's light was red. A police officer turned out, going my way. I was still thinking about Thank God I didn't have to call 911 and Thank God that fire truck would've been there and If I had had to call 911, I would probably still be trying to describe everything right now. So when I saw the police car, this thought slammed into me: Wow! The police would've been there right away too!
Those stupid dudes were really lucky. And if they had been really unlucky, they still would've been lucky. They would have had everything they needed right away. So not to sound like a goob, but it was just one of those moments where I realized for myself that I know there's someone out there, looking over all of us.
I always think that my friendships will last forever. I am super super close with someone, and then one of us does something bad. Or we just drift apart. If one of us does something bad, either we talk about it or we don't. To tell you the truth, it doesn't really seem to change the end result - we usually aren't very close after that.
The reason this worries me so much is that all of my current friendships, which I treasure just as much as all my former friendships, could be melting away into the ocean like a sand dune. If friendships have a shelf life, then that means at some point these relationships will end too. And I really don't want that.
So honestly, what do you think? Do you think that if you try hard enough you can be friends forever? Or do you think that everything always changes, even the people who you thought would always be there?
I wish you could hear the quiet now that we have our new window. And I wish you could smell and feel the sweet breeze that wafts through our upstairs. I think the screen has a magic stink filter. So amazing to have a real window with a screen! Love!
I wish you could smell my hilarious lavender, which is getting ready to bloom again. I was going to move it so it didn't get crushed by the roofing project, but there's no way. When I was moving the coneflowers and the ditch lilies I broke my favorite shovel. Now all we have is the manure shovel with the flat head - not good for digging up plants. Plus I hate to move it since it's so happy on that side of the house. So I'm leaving it. The azalea is staying put, too - it's like, "Leave me alone! I'm growin' here!"
My grape tomatoes are ripening and they are the prettiest orange right now. And the little cucumber vine flowers are turning into.....cucumbers! Yaaay!
It is rainy today and supposed to be nineties the rest of the week. Just as long as all goes well next week, I will be perfectly satisfied. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Go look at Artiorgigami, and look at the stuff here that I did for the art show, and leave a comment on THIS post. Then I'll get with you on postage and mailing and I will send you the art piece of your choice. First come, first served, and all you have to do is send me money for shipping and mailing supplies. You can even send me a check later if you're really broke, but you might have to wait till after next payday.
Also, I listed the teakwood bed on Craigslist. Lemme know if you want it. $3k.
I looooooooove our house. It is huge and old and full of original details and just waiting for us to fix it all up and do our own thing. I love coming downstairs on a Saturday morning; I love the cool cave of the dining room on a weekday afternoon; I love the way the bedroom smells like home (Mom's laundry detergent). I love that we have earthworms and birds that live there; I love that I see butterflies more and more often. I love lying in the hammock and looking up at the droopy old branches of the Norway blue spruce; I love thinking about being unter den linden. When we first closed, I went to the house and stood in the living room and looked out the huge window. In my mind's eye, I envisioned our wrought-iron table and chairs out front, with the honey and I enjoying Sunday breakfast on our front porch. We are planning a stone and black iron fence around the front with a gate, and a cement front porch with terra cotta tiles, and an orangerie in the back where the back porch is. We're planning a full-on library, which I intend to organize by fiction/non-fiction, subject, and title. We want to add one and a half more baths, and a sweet old pantry which I imagine having big ol' cupboards that look like they grew there naturally. I have been thinking more and more about thyme or Irish moss under the pine tree in the back. Even though the floors aren't stained and finished, I love the sweet glow they get when they are freshly vacuumed and the house is happy.
But our house is in a sucky neighborhood. And I don't honestly know if it's going to get better. Yes, putting up fences and hawthorn bushes and actually insulated windows will help us escape into our oasis better, but what if it just stays the same forever and we always have to listen to fireworks in the alley and watch for feral cats pooping in the garden? What if we can never leave our windows open or our screen door (which I desperately want) open when it's nice? Augh! We clearly can't move the house out to the country, but don't want to stay in this area of the city if it's going to be crappy forever!
I know I talk about this a lot, and I apologize. But I was just thinking - what do you do when you desperately love someone but hate all their friends?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Some Pretty Brush-and-Ink Paintings for Your House - $10
Reply to: craigslist.org
Here is the response I got:
are you serious?
how old are you?
what do you want to be when you grow up?
I thought this must be mean and sarcastic, until I checked this person's AOL profile by using the member directory:
Marital Status: single
Favorite Gadgets: this one my brother hooked up for me
Occupation: pleez....nothing to do with numbers or calculators or bank tellers...so guess...the world is my oyster.
Personal Quote: 'nothing is yet in it's true form' C. S. Lewis
Now I wonder if she wasn't being sarcastic after all....
I have had a horrible frickin' day already, based in part on the e-mail I received from this person this morning. I assumed that since I didn't sell one piece at the art show I had in May, and since my attempt at wedding photography was met with derision from the wedding services community, and since my attempt to publish a book was a failure, that this person was probably a gallery owner or some such who had a valid basis for opinion and whose opinion was that my art is crap. Please let me know what you think about this e-mail: was she being nasty or curious? I want to know whether I should be amazed that I always jump to the least-flattering-to-myself conclusion or whether I need to never sell the bike shop. I was pretty down on myself because of this e-mail - I'm obviously lamer than lame...I'm not even a good secretary (based on some criticism from one of my bosses yesterday)...I can't do anything right...etc etc etc. So tell me. Is my art lamer than lame? Or is it ahead of its time? You know what? Don't tell me. In the stupid mood I'm in, I probably wouldn't believe the compliments and the criticism would ruin my day further. Just forget this pity party. But I still want to know if you think all Lizzes are mean.
PS: After crying while curling my hair and then screaming in traffic, I mashed my hand in a heavy wooden door delivering some checks to a client. Then I jumped the curb turning back onto the main drag. Whatta great day!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Yesterday I left work around eleven to burn some vacation time - first vacation time I've used all year! I went home to clear the rocks (cement chunks) from the south side of the house so that the honey won't keel heeemself when he does the roof. I wanted him to have solid ground on which to set his ladder.
So I'm out there, clearing rocks by myself, one at a time. Fun! A guy drives by and offers to help. I say no at first, but he says he'll haul all the rocks away. So I say yes. He and his girl come over and I'll be damned if they didn't haul all those rocks away in their van! Sweet! I gave them five bucks, along with a beer for him and a bottle of water for her. The honey says he was "blown away" by the large number of heavy things I'd moved, but he didn't act excessively excited. Weird old Virgo. Haley's the only one I know who gets all emotional about stuff.
I also made dinner and baked a cake for the honey. I tried to pipe him a message in chocolate, but it was a Hershey bar and I couldn't get it to freeze hard enough on the tin foil. Then I melted another chocolate bar and wrote directly on the cake. Worked great on the top - not so much on the sides. After years and years, he finally cut the cake late last evening. Finally!
Today my froat is scratchy and my eyes feel puffy. You don't think I'm getting sick, do you?
I am having a good day. I earned some kudos at work, I went above and beyond for my bosses, and tonight we are going to the grocery store. It's fun to go to the store when we can actually afford to buy plenty of food! It only sux to go to the store (IMHO) when we have a super-tight budget and I'm just dreaming if I think we're leaving there with snackies.
Hope you are all having a good day too. Please help me remember, though, that today is NOT Thursday. Otherwise tomorrow will be really bad.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Clairol Natural Instincts semi-permanent Anti-Brassy Blonde hair tint. Tried to find a picture for your guys, but they didn't have one at the website. I did the medium blonde, and it did a good job of blending my roots without covering my highlights. Also took just a few minutes and didn't STANK as much as normal hair dye. I was a little nervous after my last hair-dyeing experience. But it came out GREAT.
Also, this is the best notecard I've found. It's Birchcraft, and I got a sample and wrote all over it with different pens. It takes every kind of pen beautifully except my calligraphy pen, which seems to be not working at all on any kind of paper. This takes regular roller ink without feathering, metallic without oiling through, and even my scratchy weird roller gel pens. So if you are addicted to paper and don't feel like wasting a bunch of Crane notecards trying to find a pen that will work, try these. They're supposed to be wedding invitations, but I'm sure you can get them plain, and they are CHEAP!
SO cute. Love the cute little berry finial on the top of the casserole lid. Mwah.
Monday, August 13, 2007
I just started participating in Craigslist, and this weekend we got rid of our old loud elliptical machine and some of the other random stuff we had lying around the house. It was really great! Plus I got to take a nap on Saturday evening. Our life is so exciting!
I went to a girl's night party with Tessa and Colleen on Friday night, and it was sooooooo much fun! I love hanging out with them - we are always cracking up laughing! Plus we made plans to do it again in a few weeks.
I made fried green tomatoes yesterday for the first time, and another batch of potato salad. I felt like such a southern domesticist! (Did I just make up a word?) The fried green tomatoes started out on fire and by the end I got the hang of it. We also watched a special on nerd TV about Blood Diamonds. It was so sad and affecting! It made us more serious than ever about making sure we do not contribute to the furtherance of conflict and mine worker mistreatment in the world. We will either be purchasing gemstones from American small mines, Canadian responsibly-run mines, or created stones. I was sad to find out, though, that socially and environmentally precious metals are pretty much only available as recycled or reused metal. That's okay, though - now we know and
I just got distracted by the TV and noticed something disgusting! First there was a cat food commercial where an Emeril-like cooking show host was frying cat food for the cat audience. Then there was a Manwich commercial with everyone chowing down and I realized: we look the same as cats when we eat! Gross! So now I will feel awfully condescended-to when I see commercials like that. Ew!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Yesterday was the MDA lockup, and it was so much fun! Tessa couldn't go because of crazy office busy-ness, so I had to go by myself in order to bring back snackies. A firefighter in an Enterprise rent-a-car was my chaffeur, and we chatted on the way to the lockup. Turns out he works at the same station as a coworker of my honey's who works with the honey on his days off from fighting fires. So I got to meet him, and that was cool. Then: the lockup. A little freakier this year, but in some ways more fun. There weren't whole meals this year - just little finger sandwiches and baby brownies. Bummer! So to fill up I had like five baby sandwiches and four baby squares of artichoke-vinegar-blue cheese pizza. And a cookie. After I was done pimping for the cause, I cashed out and got some poker chips to go play in the casino area. I played Blackjack and cashed in my chips for tickets to enter in the raffles. Hopefully I will win the massage - I put all but three of my tickets in there! The other tickets went to a gift cert for our favorite downtown restaurant and a hair-and-nail place gift cert. Could use some highlights!
Also, our neighbor across the street lost a limb off her tree yesterday afternoon, right before the honey got home. His car would've been crushed! Julio would have been dead! The city people came and took it away, and get this - it took a dead branch from our linden tree with it when it fell! So they took that branch away, and we didn't have to mess with it. Yippee!
So all in all, yesterday was a good day. I had a disturbing recurring dream last night, so I'm keeping a calendar so I can track my dreams and see if there's a pattern!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
E-bear, you're right - it is eighties. Ag!
Also, here's something I was thinking of earlier: Are you a runner or a fighter? You know, like fight-or-flight? When I am frustrated with a situation, I just walk away. But when the honey encounters a roadblock, he feels like everything up to that point has been wasted if he doesn't overcome it. He's a fighter. Which are you? You can also call me a leaver.
I had a dream last night about a friend that I miss. But it was a bad friendship for me. I have noticed that people tend to change at different rates, which causes tectonic plate action in relationships. Have you ever noticed that? If you stayed in the same town and still work at your same job from high school, and I have moved three times since college to three different time zones, we don't really have much in common anymore. It's odd to think that it's okay for friendships to have a shelf life - that a new person will come along who fits with your space in life at the time. I always knew that relationships had a time limit, but I always thought that was cataclysmically tragic. Now I think it might be the natural way of things.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
There was an evil pharmaceuticals company who had embedded a camera in a stuffed toy. They had invented a drug that would make people invincible, but it was killing the children in whom it was injected. They had bad doctors writing phony scrips for diabetes medicine and were actually testing on kids in an abandoned warehouse underneath Armstrong. In evading these evildoers, we had to climb up the undersides of stairs as if they were ladders, dodge bullets, and do crazy kung fu moves to disarm the bad guys. We eventually beat them by pretending to lose the chip in an infinity pool in front of the cops, so they couldn't kill us. But we had the real chip. (Don't ask me why it's now a chip - you KNOW nothing needs to flow properly in Dali's world!) Then we were making our escape under cover of having reached a detente, and we encountered some of the evil invincible freak nurses trying to gather more test subjects. And like The Matrix or Tomb Raider, it was all off again. IN sane!
So I'm curious - does anyone else always have super-vivid dreams where everything is really bizarre?
Monday, August 6, 2007
It was rainy yesterday, and in the afternoon I took the garbage out to the dumpster in the alley behind the house. I dragged our can back into the yard and turned to close the gate. There was a two or three month old German shepherd puppy trying to walk in the gate. I made the go-away noise, but she was not put off. She came up to me and kissed my hand and pushed into my legs to be petted. Then she tried to kiss my face. She was all wet, and her ear was chewed.
Once before, there was a stray dog running around our neighborhood that I sent to the shelter. His legs were broken and they had to put him down, but at least he got a hamburger dinner and a warm bed before he went. I have felt horrible ever since that I didn't go outside the night before to see what all the noise was about. And I felt awful when we had to give Pallas up. So it didn't even enter my mind to kick her back out of the yard when she obviously didn't have any place to go.
I closed the gate and kept her in the backyard. I went and got the honey to get his opinion. I called Animal Control and they said they would send someone out. You have to understand - our animal shelter here is really, uncommonly good. They care more than anyone else I've ever seen and they run it very well. So I knew she would be in good hands. The director of the shelter had called me personally to let me know about the other dog getting his hamburger dinner - that's how I knew.
So the girl came to pick Pally Junior up, and she was telling me about how she had a German shepherd at home. We talked about how smart they are, and she was telling Pally Junior that she would take her home with her. So I feel confident that the puppy will have a place to go if she doesn't get adopted. But she is so young and good-natured that I am sure someone will want her. She had a collar but no tags. Really, what's the point of that? Orka used to knit little yarn collars for the puppies so we could tell them by the color of their collars, but this was a real, actual collar with even a spot for some friggin' tags! And you can get them While U Wait at PetSmart for like seven dollars. Irritating.
Some highlights: Pally Junior immediately did this turn-pet thing that Pallas used to do. They lean up against you and turn so that their bellies are easily accessible for petting. The honey said I couldn't touch her because we don't know what diseases or critters she might have that could infect Radar, so I was watching her through the windows. When I couldn't see her from the kitchen window anymore, I went and looked through the library window. She spotted me through the blinds and came running up to the window. She put her front paws on the outside sill and was looking at me like, "I know you! Wanna come cuddle me some more?" And she also kept inspecting the gate bolts, like, "Okay, that's how she closed this thing. How can I get it open?" And she was standing at the edge of the porch stairs, gauging whether she could get over the fence. So I know she was as smart as Pally. You can really see the wheels turning in their heads. She also had those big funny ears, although hers stood up straight like wolves' ears. Pallas' ears used to flop all funny like Yoda.
After she left I had to go pick up all the dog poop in the yard and put bleach on the spots where I had picked things up. The honey seemed sheepish about all the precautions, but I totally agree with him. I don't want Radar to catch something from her spoor and die. So that was fun! Hopefully the bleach will kill the weeds instead of the grass. Get in there and do your thing, grass! Take over while you have the chance!
But so I feel really good about what I did. The people in our neighborhood don't deserve the animals they have. Shame on people who let their animals roam without tags. They should be put out in the middle of nowhere and forced to process roadkill until they have a better understanding of how to be a responsible pet owner.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
I just finished re-reading Stephen King's On Writing, which always inspires me. But it sort of makes me feel like a false writer, though, 'cause I don't really feel the same about writing, stories, etc. that he does. I don't dig up characters and then follow their lead. I didn't have a long childhood full of publishing and writing. My stories are not very original.
But it inspired me to come up with a great idea for a story. And I wrote my thousand words. And then I told a few people that I had started writing a story. I wouldn't tell them what it was about; I didn't want to jinx it. But then it was jinxed anyway - when I went back and read it, it tasted like ashes in my mouth. It's okay, I guess, but I don't know if I can write a novel! It's got so many things packed into the first thousand words that there's no way I'll make a full novel out of it. I am much better at short stories. And I know from reading On Writing that there's not a whole lot of room in the short-story market.
So. Did I jinx it? I think maybe I did.